caged demons
by Hanayuki Shizuka
Summary: Fuji fears his past, his darkness and Tezuka is the only one who can save him, but Tezuka is leaving...poem..pretty lame..no plot..


Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

I am alone. Again, as usual, people crowded my body, yet no one ever came near my soul.

I never allow anyone to come close, I never allow anyone to touch me.

I hate human contact. I fear it.

Another warm being touching me, showing me how cold I am.

Cold, that is me. It shrouded my being, my soul, my very essence.

The smile I always had hid the coldness that threatened to seep through my bones and chill anyone close.

The eyes I usually kept closed hid the pain that lurked so darkly beneath the ocean of blue.

The calm exterior I habitually shown the world hid the terror that shook my body, my soul and my empty heart.

My past, an empty shell, reverberated with memories that brimmed with hatred.

My past, an iron cage, locked my soul in its dark pit of horror.

My present, an illusion, trapped my body in an eternal dream of ghosts.

My future… a prisoner of my past.

I never knew a moment of peace.

I never understood the meaning of love.

I never heard my true laughter.

I never saw the fairy of Hope.

All my life, was but a lie.

A lie fabricated by the dark and powerful Lord of the Past.

All my life, was but a dream.

A dream weaved with threads of terror and fear.

My soul was nothing but a fragment of my imaginations.

My soul was nothing but an imaginary friend I made up.

My soul was nothing but an illusion, shattered at the first touch of truth.

My soul was a prisoner, within my cage of past.

Turmoil was with every breath I took, I never knew what fresh air is, until you came.

Panic was with every nightmare I had, I never knew what dream is, until you came and saw me.

Every night I hold my memory of you tightly in my arms. It soothes the angry souls of my past.

Every day I collected images of you, so I can call forth them when my past threatens to consume my very being.

I was caged, within the past.

I was locked, within the past.

I was smothered, within the past.

My past was a cage, binding ropes and my failure.

I never knew love. For I was never loved, I failed all the people I loved, who never love me before.

I never knew love. For I was never hold within loving arms of the people I loved, who never love me back before.

I never knew love. For I was never taught the joys of being loved by the people I loved.

I never knew love, for I never knew you, until now.

Your silence, your determination and your sharp eyes, had torn all the defenses I put around me.

Your understanding had taught me the gentleness of love.

Your strength taught me the happiness of love.

Your calm taught me the warmth of love.

You have torn down the entire defense around my heart.

You gave me my freedom, but I didn't want to go.

I want to live within your world, but you let me go.

I want to see who is beneath the mask of calm, but you let loose of my wings.

I didn't want to soar, not without you by my side.

I didn't want to fly, not without you as my wind.

Tezuka, you took down my past, you gave me freedom.

Tezuka, you brought me the gift of love.

But why had you killed me?

Why had you given up on me? I want to be by your side, but you chose to move on.

I didn't want a man who can bring out the real me, only to kill it immediately with the blade of rejection.

I didn't want a man who can let me soar, only to explore the heights of the sky by himself.

I didn't want a man who can hear my pleads for help, only to smile and let go.

I didn't want a man like you, did I?

If I am to lose you in exchange for my freedom, I will close the gate again.

If I am to lose you for the release from my past, I will live in it for eternity.

If I am to lose you for who I am, I will kill Fuji Syuusuke and be a shadow of who you want.

If I am to be alone again, I will break the shell of my past and let the demons of my past consume me.

Tezuka, don't leave me again in the darkness. I am scared.

The past will pull me into its darkness and refuse to let go.

Don't let it take me.

Please, Tezuka, onegai, onegai, onegai…

I am scared of the demons, the demons that threatened to break free.

I am scared, because, the demons are a part of my soul.

The darkness within me scared me.

I am a demon.


End file.
